Day 1: Never done this before

So this is the first day that I have ever blogged in my life.  I am not sure that I am going to like it but I have to have some outlet to express the way I have been feeling lately since the shooting.  I don't live in Colorado and I wasn't there but this has really shaken me to the core.  I watch the news and I hear how the people are feeling and I just wish that there was something that I could do something about what has happened there.  I know I could donate money but that just doesn't seem like enough.  I am always holding out in my life for a moment to start a change in my life.  This brilliant moment in my life that will change everything and make me feel like I have made some sort of a difference.... I always think that I have so much time to change my life... do we really have a lot of time,  most of the time I think that I do.... then something happens like the Movie Theater Massacre and I realize that there isn't very much time.  32  that is how old I am and I feel like I don't make any difference in my life.  Josh, my husband says I do make a difference in his life but is that enough.  Most days I do think it is enough but right now it just isn't.  I am going to make a difference I am going to write about how I am feeling and how things are effecting me going on in the world.... one day someone may read this and know what the world was like for one normal woman living in the world at a very dynamic time in US history... just like the person journals that I used to read in history class to get a feeling of how people felt during the civil war or WWII.... Through this journey of my life I am going to trace back how I got to this place in my life.  Some major events have happened to me in the last three years and these events have changed how I see the whole world.  Although I am just a normal woman maybe travelling through the grief of my father and grandmother passing and the marriage I have to an OCD husband will help someone else get through what I am going through.  Also I have two chronic illnesses and constant pain so I have information to share... lots of it.  I hope that someone enjoys my life.... I hope it is an interesting read.